Fannie Lou Hamer’s words— “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired”—still ring true today for many Black women. As a therapist, I see this fatigue manifest in ways that go far beyond physical exhaustion. It is emotional, psychological, and even spiritual fatigue, stemming from generations of carrying the weight of movements, families, workplaces, and communities, often with little to no reciprocity.
The Psychological Weight of Constant Advocacy
Black women have been at the forefront of practically every major movement in this country—civil rights, suffrage, reproductive rights, and social justice—yet the support we give is rarely returned in kind. This emotional labor is taxing. Studies show that chronic stress, particularly from racial and gendered discrimination, significantly impacts mental health, increasing risks for anxiety, depression, and even cardiovascular disease.
In the workplace, Black women continue to be underrepresented in leadership, holding just 1.6% of CEO positions in Fortune 500 companies. Many of my clients’ express feelings of frustration as they navigate workplaces where they are overlooked for promotions, undervalued, and expected to perform at twice the level of their colleagues just to receive half the recognition.
The Burden of Family and Community Expectations
Beyond professional life, many Black women serve as the backbone of their families. About 67% of Black children are raised in single-parent households, with mothers carrying the majority of the responsibility. This isn’t just about financial or logistical challenges, it’s also about the emotional toll of constantly being the nurturer, the provider, and the emotional anchor for loved ones.
As a therapist, I often hear Black women express guilt when they even consider prioritizing their own needs. Many have internalized the expectation that their strength must be unwavering, leaving little room to acknowledge vulnerability or seek help.
Political Disillusionment and the Feeling of Betrayal
Black women have historically been one of the most politically engaged demographics in the U.S. In the last election, 91% of Black women voted for Kamala Harris, yet the support from other racial and gender groups was not nearly as strong for issues that directly impact Black communities. This repeated cycle of showing up for others—only to be left unsupported—fosters a deep sense of frustration and emotional fatigue.
This mirrors the historical betrayal experienced in the feminist movement when white women excluded Black women’s needs from the conversation. Today, Black women still face this marginalization, expected to rally for causes that do not always extend the same care in return.
The Cost of Being Strong All the Time
Constantly being the “strong Black woman” can lead to a phenomenon known as weathering—a term coined by public health researcher Dr. Arline Geronimus. It refers to the chronic stress of racial and gendered oppression, which accelerates aging and increases health risks. Many Black women struggle with high blood pressure, chronic fatigue, and autoimmune diseases at disproportionate rates, all linked to this relentless stress.
So, What Can We Do?
As a therapist, I urge Black women to take steps toward prioritizing their own emotional well-being:
- Set boundaries – You do not have to say yes to everything and everyone. Your rest is just as important as your work.
- Seek community – Find spaces where you are supported, heard, and validated without having to over-explain.
- Therapy is for us, too – Therapy is not just about coping with stress but about learning how to prioritize yourself unapologetically.
- Advocate for yourself first – We are so used to advocating for others that we forget to do the same for ourselves in workplaces, friendships, and even in our own homes.
Black women are resilient, but resilience should not be synonymous with suffering. We deserve the space to rest, heal, and be supported in the way we have always supported others. It’s time to shift the narrative—from one of exhaustion to one of balance and well-being.
If no one has told you this today: You are enough. You are worthy of care. And you deserve to rest.
References
American Psychological Association. (2022). The mental health crisis among Black women in America. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/black-women-mental-health
Fortune. (2024, February 9). Black CEOs in the Fortune 500 hit an all-time high—but workplace diversity efforts are still declining. Retrieved from https://fortune.com/2024/02/09/black-ceos-fortune-500-high-workplace-diversity/
Geronimus, A. T. (1992). The weathering hypothesis and the health of African American women and infants: Evidence and speculations. Ethnicity & Disease, 2(3), 207-221.
Investopedia. (2023). Corporate leadership by race. Retrieved from https://www.investopedia.com/corporate-leadership-by-race-5114494
National Institutes of Health. (2023). Black single-parent households in the U.S.: Social, economic, and health disparities. Retrieved from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4245275/
New York Post. (2024, November 16). Trump won big with Black men—now he must convince them to be better fathers. Retrieved from https://nypost.com/2024/11/16/opinion/trump-won-big-with-black-men-now-he-must-convince-them-to-be-better-fathers/
Pew Research Center. (2024). How Black women voted in the 2024 presidential election. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/
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